Happy 5th Birthday

This year seems different as it gets closer to Hudson's Bday! I have felt more aware of what we really lost in out lives! We lost a very special baby boy that would be 5 today! I can hardly believe that he would be 5! Sometimes I like to think of what my days would be like if I had a 5 year old and a 3 year old running around! It is in those thoughts that I feel a piece that our little man is being taken care of! I wonder sometimes what he is doing and if he looks in on us from time to time! I'd like to think he does and is happy at what we are doing!

As Hunter gets older he seems more aware that he was not the first spirit to enter our family! He asks me so many questions about Hudson and where he is! I am so glad that I feel a piece knowing Hudson is in Heaven! I know as a family we will be able to see him again and I am so grateful for the peace that gives me!

I still tear up at the very thought of hugging him or laughing with him. I wonder what it would have been like to send him off to school this year! I wonder what things he would have been interested in! I wonder how he would have been as an older brother. Although these are not things I will never know, I still wonder! I am excited that this upcoming week I get to go to Hudson's grave and leave him a flower. Not a day goes by that I don't think of him but as the years go on it seems to be easier to deal with the loss of our first little boy!

I wanted to take a moment and thank those family members and dear friends who were there for my husband and I in such a time of loss! I want you to know that each of you who cared about us at that time in our lives, helped us! I think back to that time of pure chaos and I don't have a single memory that left me feeling alone! I always had someone there to hug, and that meant so much to me and my husband! Thank you!

Happy 5th Birthday Hudson!